tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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