cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
