Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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