i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
