That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Someone signed my nipple.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
