so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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