Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
