I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
