i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
