yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
