It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize