Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Drunk is not a location!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
