Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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