Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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