She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
