haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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