so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We were destined to go to rehab together
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
