9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
