We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
