At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
