stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
