so explain again why im purple
no
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
