That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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