I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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