I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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