I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
