I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
it's great music for shaving your balls
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
