I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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