I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize