she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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