I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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