Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
