you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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