dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize