Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she told me i tasted like america
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
