the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
