The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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