I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
