Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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