Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
