things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
