The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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