Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
