i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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