So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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