There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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