Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
