absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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