I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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