I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
