we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
whose parrot is this?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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