I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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