i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
