I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
