Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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