I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
