the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
