Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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