in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
