I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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