Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
