It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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