If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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