he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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