guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
