I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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