Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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