..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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