I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
