I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
