i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
