I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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